Saturday, September 1, 2012

Long Time No Write

I believe writing for me is cathartic. It helps when I share my life experience with others because I am reminded that 1) I'm not the only one going through this, 2) It encourages others, and 3) I get encouragement and support from others. No matter what we like to think - we cannot do life alone.

So...

Welcome to September 1st, 2012. We will never see this day again but thank God He has seen fit for us to live it. As I sit here and sip on my Celestial Seasoning Peppermint Tea, I'm thinking of the past few months that have brought me to the place that I am at now - still, at peace and with my joy firmly in tact. God has really been speaking to me as of late. He will use a number of ways to speak to you (especially if you are ignoring his direct counsel). He will speak to you through people, places and things.

In my case, it was through the person I was seeing. He had, so eloquently, pointed out during a discussion that I was flip floppy in my faith and sometimes-y with my Bible. I immediately got defensive and said, "You need to understand that the Christian walk is hills and valleys!!!! I'm going through stuff!! I...I..." Wait. If the person closest to me at the time could not see Christ in me, what were other's seeing? After that discussion I went into serious reflection mode and asked God to reveal these things to me. I got my answer.

I had been so moody because of my circumstances (job hunting when you're supporting a family of 4 is tough on you mentally, emotionally and physically) and had been complaining to everyone who would listen. I had to stop and ask myself, "Where is your faith?" If I had been outside of myself I would have also questioned where was her God? The God she claims can do all things? Does she really believe in Him?

I also was affecting how unbelievers saw God.

Ouch.

That revelation hurt.

People are watching.

Unbelievers don't understand that "This Christian walk is hills and valleys!!!" They don't get that sometimes we still sin, we fall short, we too are human. They want to know if this is your God and you claim He can do all these things - Why are you so defeated all the time? Why are you so depressed all the time? If that's your God - I can do without Him! They see surface Christianity and want to see an unwavering faith and when we fail to be that light they walk away UNCHANGED by their encounter with you.

If we do anything as Christians, it should be changing someone's view of God from I'm not sure about that to He HAS to be real. Look at all she's going through and still nothing but praise leaves her lips! He HAS to be real! She's gone through all these trials and tribulations and still has joy in her heart! Why is she different? What's she got?

People are watching.

Observing a people who say their God is mighty, incredible and the King of King and Lord of Lords.

People are watching.

And we have to do better.

We have to claim what's ours in victory. We need to be able to suffer and show the light of Christ at the same time. We need to be able to get through so that the people watching say what's going on with them? That they have such strong faith. How are they able to stand? We need to be able to stand because that's how people come to salvation. They say I want that! Whatever it is that they have I want it, too! Even though this person is dying! Even though this person has cancer! They still have this unshakable faith in a God that's going to be there for them; a God that is always going to be with them and they honestly believe that! I want that!

People are watching.

And they are judging our God by His people and what must they think?

We have to do better.

We have to better representations.

This is a call for all Christians out there. I had my faith checked and if you ever had your faith checked you know how much it hurts.

But it made me better. Out of the conviction of my heart flowed a renewed passion to be obedient and to be that light.

I pray the same happens for you.